Quote Originally Posted by Sir_Russell View Post
A quick word here about the difference between a Dom and an abuser.

A Dom does care for his sub and a Master/Owner even more since he is investing a lot of time and effort in making her happy. A Dom/Master has to since an unhappy sub will not be his for very long. I can only tell you that when I take either a sub or slave I have spent a lot of time talking with her, feeling her out as too her stability. Unfortuneitly I am not all ways right, as recent experience has proven, but I am all ways thinking about what is good for her. Sometimes that is letting her go, no matter how beautiful she is, for the good of both of us.

An abuser is only wearing the title of Dom to convince subs that he will be safe to trust their body and mind too. He wants to hurt and harm, probably doesn't like woman very much other then to take out deep seeded hostilities on them. He may well be straight sexually but even that can be nothing more then an act since a lot of them just care about themselves and are more Asexual then sexual.

A poser normally is harmless enough since he is looking for easy sex where his skills won't be questioned since he is the Dom.
Whole heartedly agree with this, well said as always. I do, however, disagree with the notion that abusers are often more asexual than sexual. Of course there are the ones that will withhold sex and those who are not really interested in sex anyway, but a great number of abusive men is actually quite sexual. Many abusers start out as wonderful and attentive lovers...it's one of the things to get you hooked. Many abusers insist on having sex on a frequent basis, and then often insist on having it in a way that their partners don't feel too comfortable with. I know a woman who's partner loves to have outdoor sex with her -- preferrably in places covered with poison ivy. A high number of abusive men has affairs...so at least in my experience, sex has a high level of significance one way or another. It's something they can use to control -- and that's what it boils down to. They control, so they win...if they lose control, welcome to hell. Anyway, I'll stop writing an epic...just wanted to add my two cents