Cadence, I liked your post a lot It helped me gather my thoughts a litltle more.

You are very correct in differentiating between someone who is inexperienced and someone who is a troll.

That, i think, is part of what I was trying to get at. The other thing to consider is that for most new and inexperienced people, kink *IS* a fap fest at first. I mean, lets face it. We all do it because it gets our juices flowing, either physically, emotionally, or intellectually. In some fashion, kink *is* sex.

What I was trying to clarify more specifically was that often it is the more experienced and 'established' Doms in a particular community who will be the WORST trolls.

The ones who feel somehow justified in their behavior because they have been around long enough or a few people 'know their name' so to speak. Its these guys who are often the ones spouting the tenets of what it takes to be a 'true dom' and 'true slave'

I've been to play parties and there are play sluts on both sides of the power exchange, and its the doms who can be dangerous for new subs

Actions speak louder than words. Saying all the right words and speaking all the right rhetoric does not a safe, conscientious, caring dom make.