In addition to patience, as others have suggested but which is not exactly an easy thing to acquire, I would explore the idea that communication and personality are important aspects of creating any kind of relationship. It also helps, I think, to be looking in places conducive to allowing such relationships to occur. Probably most important is being open and honest about what you are looking for. Before being directed here, for example, I became active on another web site. (I don't know if I can mention which one here. Are there any prohibitions against that?) I was a true newbie in every sense of the word, and it took me a few months before I "learned the ropes" as it were, and a few months more before something which occurred on that website caused me to reach out in a frustrated collection of words because I had a desire to share something with the community that the site admin, because of issues with his biller, would not permit me to post in my blog. (It was a poem, and I'd like to share it here, but I'd be worried it would be rejected on similar grounds. Although I made it very clear in the poem itself that I was referring to myself as the subject of the poem, the imagery I used might confuse somebody with no abilities at reading poetry that I was referring to a real child rather than my inner child.) I blogged about the specific incident in question and invited people to contact me privately if they wanted to see what I had wanted to post but was not permitted to. I must have sent out about 30 private messages with the "prohibited content" to people who had asked to see it. One of those people took a specific interest in me. I haven't met her in person yet. She lives almost all the way across the country from me, and circumstances have been such that we haven't been able to plan anything just yet, but both of us are hopeful that we will be able to do so in the future at some point, possibly just a few months out.

So I guess what I want to ask you is this: how have you been looking? To attract the attention of a Dom or Domme, you have to show them that you are worth their attention. Your Average Joe is not likely going to be too interesting to to such a person. Make yourself fun, unique, thoughtful, and perhaps fortune will shine upon you too.

Also, while its good practical advice to look local, you might not find the person you are really looking for in your back yard.

I hope you find who you are looking for, just as I hope that person finds you.