Coming out of the Sub Closet

[icey]

sometimes the actual mention of the things like rape games and what people percieve to be 'violence' etc can scare guys a little,ive known quite a few who've admitted they fantasise about it but also because of its connotations feel a bit torn and guilty about that.

as well as books do you have any mild bdsm type movies? wait til he's relaxed put your sexy lingerie on snuggle up and drop a few hints.

or take him shopping and try coaxing him to buy a 'bdsm beginners' type kit ,you know the sort a bit of soft rope, fluffy cuffs, collar etc from anne summers or some such place, thats more likely to come across to him as a little kinky saturday night fun!

and if he's up for it at some point hopefully he'll start to take a more active interest in it.

i really hope that whatever you do works out,ive been there myself and know how difficult and frustrating it can be ....good luck with it

[Slutsie]

sometimes the actual mention of the things like rape games and what people percieve to be 'violence' etc can scare guys a little,ive known quite a few who've admitted they fantasise about it but also because of its connotations feel a bit torn and guilty about that.

I think he was a little shocked by the story. As far as I know it was the first he'd ever read up on BDSM, so maybe it was a little too intense for a first reading. To me it didn't seem all that hardcore, but I can understand how for someone who is not naturally a strong Dom that could have seemed shocking.

I did tell him that I don't agree with rape in real life and tried to explain it's only my fantasy as a role play. I hope he understood me...

Bless him, I've only managed to coax him into Anne Summers three or four times, he gets so shy about sex shops. We have browsed online shops and I was sort of suggesting things I'd like him to use on me but we've never bought anything kinky (other than underwear). He's told me he would like to use toys on me and even cuffs (the thought of which excited me so much), which I am looking forward to, but this was only this week so we are yet to purchase anything.

I'm not sure whether or not to gently push him or let him do it at his own pace. Of course it would drive me nuts (in a good way) if he took control of the situation, went out and bought lots of toys etc, but that's just not going to happen. It feels strange trying to steer someone into dominating you. Frustration argh. But I must be patient with him and I do love him so much.