Coming out of the Sub Closet

[SAE]

While I agree with most of what has been said I feel i must urge a\ word of catuion. i have had bondage sex with my current vanilla partner but there is no way she would ever understand some of the urges i have and act out with my online partner here. Do not assume becos he is happy to tie u up he will automatically move on to other things. I suggest a softly soflty approach. See how it goes with the bondage sex and take it from there. Sorry to be a killjoy but think u need a balanced view.

[Slutsie]

While I agree with most of what has been said I feel i must urge a\ word of catuion. i have had bondage sex with my current vanilla partner but there is no way she would ever understand some of the urges i have and act out with my online partner here. Do not assume becos he is happy to tie u up he will automatically move on to other things. I suggest a softly soflty approach. See how it goes with the bondage sex and take it from there. Sorry to be a killjoy but think u need a balanced view.

You're not a killjoy at all and I appreciate the balanced view. I would never force him into doing anything to me that he didn't want to do himself. I mean, that defies the whole object for me anyway because I want him to have *his* was with me, not my own.

Besides, I wouldnt want to push him and have it spoil our relationship, because to me he is more important than anything else in the world.

We both do have our kinks, his are just a little straigher than mine. He has somewhat of a lingerie fetish, he's really into stockings and tights. To me, I dont really understand that it can be his deepest darkest fantasy, but I respect his interests and dress up for him when he wants me to (I enjoy the dressing up part of course).

Part of me feels as though because I fulfil his fantasies we should at least dabble in mine. I'm just hoping, wishing, praying that it turns out he's really into it too.

I suppose this goes back to the old debate of whether D/s behaviour is a learnt behaviour or an innate one. I think it can be both to be honest, because although I feel innately submissive, I'm hoping he can learn to dominate me and enjoy it. ^_^

[icey]

While I agree with most of what has been said I feel i must urge a\ word of catuion. i have had bondage sex with my current vanilla partner but there is no way she would ever understand some of the urges i have and act out with my online partner here. Do not assume becos he is happy to tie u up he will automatically move on to other things. I suggest a softly soflty approach. See how it goes with the bondage sex and take it from there. Sorry to be a killjoy but think u need a balanced view.

i totally agree with this,

not just because he might not understand or be shocked by your fantasys and urges but for safety reasons too,or at least as safe as any bdsm activity can be (including light bondage) trying new things is great but if you're into anything extreme or even just a flogging/whipping etc it needs researching practice and to be built up to gradually for both your sakes.

sorry im the one being a killjoy now lol