This is an introduction of sorts, so please bear with me if it gets too long…
I am a 19 years old bi-curious female from SE England. I have a boyfriend of two years who I am totally in love with. I have had BDSM fantasies since I was probably about 9 or 10. I’ve only ever had what I can only describe as non vanilla sex about 5 times in my life.
I’m turning 20 in June and after 5 years of being sexually active, I want to spice things up a bit. The problem is, I’m such a closet case. All of my fantasies seem too wild and kinky to admit to my boyfriend! I’ve admitted I like being spanked and tied up, but that’s all I’ve ever managed to say.
All you need do is look at my introduction (in the introductions section) to see the long list of things I’m into. I just don’t know how to tell my boyfriend any of it. I mean… how do you tell someone that your fantasies involve you being forced into things – it doesn’t seem to make sense, because if I’m asking him to force me, then it’s more like I’m forcing him! The situation seems too mixed up…
I recently sent my boyfriend an e-mail of a story from the BDSM Library story section which involved a non consensual encounter which turned out to end in consensual sex. He seemed a little shocked that I admitted to enjoying reading stories about “rape”. Bless his vanilla heart.
His deepest darkest fantasy – that he has admitted to me anyway – is basically women clad in stockings, suspender belts etc. So I have written him two stories, both of which describe women in sexy lingerie, both of which strongly represent some of my deepest fantasies and I’m going to e-mail them to him although not admit I wrote them and wait for his feedback.
I’m not an ungrateful lover, and I adore this man so much, we have great sex, but I feel the need for more heat. There are certain things I really feel are missing. The best sex I’ve ever had have been those few times I was bound and helpless.
So basically, do any of you have any advice for me? How else can I interest him in the world of BDSM without a) freaking him out, b) pushing him away c) offending him?
If this helps, he has admitted he likes spanking me and shown an interest in tying my up but I think for now this is all he wants to do. I know I should be grateful for what I’ve got but it feels like a form of vanilla bondage everyone’s buying into these days, when some of my fantasies are much more extreme.
Thanks for reading, I would so appreciate feedback!