A dangerous relationship?

[DowntownAmber]

It is not irrelevent -but can you expect your partner to understand every aspect of your life and agree with you --

No, of course you can't. But shouldn't they have the option to decide? When did it become okay for one person in the relationship to dictate what the other "needs to know?"

I'm certainly no angel, I have gone through life committing more than my fair share of sins, and I have lied to avoid conflict and/or to get out of dangerous situations. However, in each of those situations the lies were meant to get me away from and out of an unhealthy situation, not to keep me in a thriving partnership.

No, there are parts of all of us that are private -even from those we love. I have 2 daughters --can I love both of them equally but differently with out detracting from our relationship? Yes I can and I can love 2 men without taking away from either one. It is 2 different relationships --2 different loves ---2 different needs that are fulfilled and being fulfilled. I do not lie to either partner --but neither do I give out details.

I always dislike when romantic relationships are compared to the ones we have with our children. Children we love and raise up with the understanding that we are preparing them to someday leave us and pursue independent lives. Our partners are just that: partners. We mature our relationships with them with the entirely opposite notion in mind. Not telling a partner about another one seems a little counterproductive to that premise.

I do agree with your "separate but equal" description of loving partners however, it can happen that way and I've certainly seen it. In all successful instances though, all partners were aware of each other.

And a lie by deliberate omission is still a lie. Somehow I can't imagine one partner being particularly soothed when he finds out about his BDSM counterpart and the response he gets is, "I didn't lie. You never specifically asked if I was engaging in submissive and sexual behavior with a Dominant man."