A dangerous relationship?

[SnickerKitten]

My partner trusts me not to give them an STD because she thinks we're monogamous, so I always use a condom when I have casual sex with strangers in bars. In my view, my actions don't detract from her safety, so it's all good. Right?

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Just try it, Love. As you know; if I don't approve beforehand, you'll lose your penis before I slowly kill you.

The answer to the original question posed in this thread is:

YES, it's absolutely possible and totally fine provided that you get your real life partner's consent.

"DowntownAmber - but if your vanilla girlfriend is still hurt and opts to walk out the door on you, are you really going to be more satisfied alone with your "definitions" of righteousness?"
Yes I will be better of without her. If the slightest hurt to means she walks out the door then it's clear we were not compatible and it was only a matter of time before she walked.

Wouldn't it be far more admirable to be up front and say, "Hey, don't expect me to be monogamous." So that your partner can make the determination as to whether or not she feels compatible with you? I'd *hardly* call it a "slight hurt" if Rago cheated on me. I, personally, would feel absolutely justified in killing him over it. (Now there is fuel for a totally different pot)

Thank goodness he's aware of that! Imagine this scenario, Person A has your view, that cheating is only a slight hurt and we're incompatible if Person B has a problem with it and walks out the door. Person B has my view, and finds that Person A has dipped his stick outside Person B's consent. Do you see where this leads?? Person A isn't going to end up being better off thinking Person B being gone is a good riddance because "we were incompatible and he/she would end up walking out at some point anyway". Person A would be dead and Person B would be in jail. (Yes, I understand that if Rago ever did cheat on me and I killed him that I'd spend the rest of my life in jail, I'm not stupid, just a little on the extreme side.)

-kitten

[Ragoczy]

Thank goodness he's aware of that! Imagine this scenario, Person A has your view, that cheating is only a slight hurt and we're incompatible if Person B has a problem with it and walks out the door. Person B has my view, and finds that Person A has dipped his stick outside Person B's consent. Do you see where this leads?? Person A isn't going to end up being better off thinking Person B being gone is a good riddance because "we were incompatible and he/she would end up walking out at some point anyway". Person A would be dead and Person B would be in jail. (Yes, I understand that if Rago ever did cheat on me and I killed him that I'd spend the rest of my life in jail, I'm not stupid, just a little on the extreme side.)

And my kitten's penchant for violence aside, this is a very real scenario.

Infidelity is one of the leading causes of sudden domestic violence (meaning where no history of violence exists in the relationship). I've personally observed groups (chats and forums, not here) where the attitude was: it's okay, you need to be happy, don't worry about that other person, just yourself.

That attitude exists because, in those communities, a large portion of the members are engaged in online activities without their partner's knowledge.

Now, we know from news reports that violence has been committed when one partner discovers the other is having an online affair. So I wonder how culpable the cheating partner's online "friends" really are in that outcome? If you encourage someone to do something that could get them hurt, are you at all responsible for the results?