A dangerous relationship?

[MacGuffin]

Flesh Seraph - That's not the same thing. If you want to start a thread about whether clandestine tit-ogling is kosher, then be my guest.
Rope monkey asked "Does anyone here believe you can explore one side of your sexuality online without it being an affront to the sexuality of your r/l partner?" and manda addressed the question. The thread was then hijacked into a discussion on infidelity.

Ragoczy - If they would, then you're undertaking an act that has the potential to harm someone you ostensibly care about and who is trusting you not to hurt them. And I'd argue, that if you're willing to risk hurting them for your own gratification, then that's not really caring about them very much............If someone believes in fidelity and you've led them to think that's what they have from you, the pain and impact of betraying that is something that will last the rest of their lives and will color every future relationship they have.
I appreciate the possible hurt to manda's partner has been considered but let's also consider the possible hurt to manda's feelings by what was very close to accusing her of cheating and hurting her partner. I do not think it was right to criticise a member's private relationships in such a manner. This prompted my post.

DowtownAmber - *shrugs* Seems reasonable.
Manda's last post clearly showed she was a little upset. A little more consideration for her feelings would not have been too unreasonable.

DowtonAmber - I'm not sure I would consider looking at the barmaid's tits quite the same caliber of indiscresion as having an affair with the barmaid.
I was addressing your comment that one partner could not determine what the other needs to know. You have determined that tit ogling (one extreme) there is no need but an affair (the other extreme) is. Fine - now lets go through the shades in between and let you dictated what the "calibre of indiscretion" is as well as the "need to know" criteria.

Ragoczy - Are you actually expecting legal definitions to apply to interpersonal relationships? That's sadly absurd.
DowntownAmber chose to make a sweeping statement that omission is a lie. I merely pointed out a case where the US Senate did not support her point of view. And yes I would expect legal definitions to apply to interpersonal relationships, that's what divorce courts do isn't it.

Rope monkey - Does anyone here believe you can explore one side of your sexuality online without it being an affront to the sexuality of your r/l partner?
Yes I believe you can because exploration helps you know and improve your sexuality which will in turn benefit both r/l partners. Many married people come to sites like this in order to improve their sex life with their partner by talking and playing with others.

As regards infidelity, presumably everybody knows their rl partner very well (especially if it is a spouse) and knows the limits, obligations and freedoms of their relationship as well as what may hurt their partner and the degree of any possible hurt. There is no black and white global answer as to what is cheating. It depends on the partners, the nature of the relationship and the understanding between them. If you do not know what will hurt your partner or your realtionship then you have a problem irrespective of online relationship.

And for the record my rl partner knows what I get up to, not because I tell her but because she knows me and what I am like.

This is my last post is this thread.

[Ragoczy]

Ragoczy - If they would, then you're undertaking an act that has the potential to harm someone you ostensibly care about and who is trusting you not to hurt them. And I'd argue, that if you're willing to risk hurting them for your own gratification, then that's not really caring about them very much............If someone believes in fidelity and you've led them to think that's what they have from you, the pain and impact of betraying that is something that will last the rest of their lives and will color every future relationship they have.
I appreciate the possible hurt to manda's partner has been considered but let's also consider the possible hurt to manda's feelings by what was very close to accusing her of cheating and hurting her partner. I do not think it was right to criticise a member's private relationships in such a manner. This prompted my post.

I count seven qualifiers in my post that provide for the implied criticism to be inapplicable.

Regardless, if (qualifier) someone is undertaking action which would cause harm to their partner and if (qualifier) their partner is trusting them to not do so and if (qualifier) the do so anyway with that knowledge, then I hope (unqualified) they get their feelings hurt -- repeatedly and at length.

I trust people, including manda, are intelligent enough to see the difference.