A dangerous relationship?

[DowntownAmber]

DowntownAmber - This is a public forum designed for discussion amongst members of what is posted here. You posted. We discussed. *shrugs* Seems reasonable.
Rope monkey posted a question and invited opinion. Mandy responded answering his question. That seems reasonable. You gave a brief answer to rope monkey's question before tearing into mandy's opinion. Whether or not that is reasonable is quite another matter.

I still find it reasonable, as mandy's response had to do directly with rope monkey's questions and the theme of this thread. And no one was "tearing" into mandy. This is an open forum designed to perpetuate discussion and I spoke to points she made without ever being disrespectful or referring to her with any degree of malice.

I don't dislike mandy, I simply raised questions to get a better feel of where it looked like she stood based on her post. As I stated before, I thought that's what open forums such as these were all about?

DowntownAmber - but if your vanilla girlfriend is still hurt and opts to walk out the door on you, are you really going to be more satisfied alone with your "definitions" of righteousness?
Yes I will be better of without her. If the slightest hurt to means she walks out the door then it's clear we were not compatible and it was only a matter of time before she walked. Nobody knows mandy's rl partner better than she does and in her view it's not a problem. I don't see how anyone, not knowing mandy's partner, is in a position to dispute her judgement.

You will note that there is a "?" at the end of my sentence, thus pointing to the fact that I am asking a question. My response to the various infidelity threads that have cropped up on the forums lately has been this: ask yourself if it is going to be worth it when your partner finds out. It's a question, not a judgement, and certainly not disputing anyone else's judgement. Frankly dear, I don't really care what anyone else does with their own life. I certainly don't care enough to judge them. I do enjoy discussing the logic and the thought process behind the decisions people make, however, and that's why I come here. It's a thought provoking way to while away a few miniutes here and there each day and that's all. I'm sorry if raising questions hurts people's feelings, but I'm not inclined to stop anytime soon.

DowntownAmber - No, of course you can't. But shouldn't they have the option to decide? When did it become okay for one person in the relationship to dictate what the other "needs to know?"
Come down from those ivory towers for a second. When I go to to the pub and ogle at the barmaids tits should I come back home and tell my woman what I did because I don't have the right to dictate what she "needs to know". Get real!

I'm not sure I would consider looking at the barmaid's tits quite the same caliber of indiscresion as having an affair with the barmaid. If this puts me up in an ivory tower, well, I guess forward my mail and send up a pizza. I guess I just find it hard to beleive that most people, unless specifically in an open or poly relationship which implies that this has been discussed anyway, wouldn't find it reasonable to expect that their partner is open with them about their sexual exploits. You're saying you wouldn't be bothered at all if the woman you're dating had an affair and neglected to mention it? At the point where she picked up an STD from the other guy at the bar and passed it on to you and you got pissed would her telling you to "get real!" and "come down from your ivory tower," make you feel any better?

DowntownAmber - And a lie by deliberate omission is still a lie.
There is a difference between omitting a key detail when one is being asked and simply not raising the topic in the first place. Did Clinton lie when he omitted to mention the fact that Monica had been going down on him. The Senate obviously didn't agree with your deliberate omission is still a lie theory else they would not have acquitted him of perjury.[/QUOTE]

The Senate doesn't agree with me on a lot, I'm afraid...lol

And there is a big difference between being dishonest and legal perjury. For example, I could rob a bank and take money that's not mine. That's extremely dishonest, not to mention illegal. However, I could avoid a perjury charge simply by keeping my mouth shut and never saying in court, "no, I did not rob that bank." Well hooray for me, I technically didn't lie but it still appears I'm a dishonest git, wouldn't you say? At the point where morality is being broken down to bits of technicality and rules lawyering, well, that's the point I think I'd like to head back up to that tower you put me in earlier.

There are many important relationships not just romantic ones. There is the relationship and obligations to parents. I wonder how many people on this site have omitted to tell their parents about their bdsm activities. Presumably thats a lie and it's not okay for thm to dictate what their parents "need to know".

Well, if you're having sex with your parents and they're under the impression you're only having sex with them, then yes, I would hope you would tell them they just aren't doing it for you and you need to expand your kink horizons. Though, somehow I'm hoping you're not serious with that example...

I really doubt most kids have sexual monogamy, whether implied or discussed, with their parents. If so, whole 'nother thread...

Rope monkey - Does anyone here believe you can explore one side of your sexuality online without it being an affront to the sexuality of your r/l partner?
Mandy was kind enough to answer rope monkey's question but because she had the audacity to express a view other didn't agree with she is lynched by the righteous mob. Hardly the way to encourage a broad view of opinions is it, crucify anybody who dares to have a different view.

Rope monkey, I'm sure you will excuse me if, for obvious reasons, I do not give you my response to you question.

MacGuffin: I would still encourage you to answer rope monkey's question, as I assume that is why you clicked on this thread to begin with. No one called mandy a "righteous mob" or told her to "get real!" as you did in response to other's posts, and I can assure you I will not do that to you when you answer the question at hand.

I will, however, promise you that I will ask questions if I have them, look for clarification, and question logic that seems dodgy to me. That's why we're here, after all.