Although I am deeply mourning my Master (Dragon) I recently met a nice nilla guy that talked me into "hanging out" with him. I had resisted at first, but the first time we were together was the first night I didn't cry since Dragon passed away. I liked that. Since then we have had a few dates that I very much enjoyed. Yes,we have had delightful sex (I am a slut after all...lol) and it was better (and heathier) than the xanax I was taking to get me through the night.
I told him I was a submissive. I explained what that meant to me and discussed the relationship Dragon and I had as Master and sub as well as Husband and wife. I showed him a few of my more mild toys, and had him thumb through my copy of Screw the Roses. He was certainly not repulsed. He is fascinated.
I don't know if he has any Dom tendancies and at this time I truly do not care. I still serve him in as many ways as he is comfortable with, such as long slow oral sex and full body massages. He may never be able to break societies taboo and even so much as spank me, but that is okay. D/s was always more important to me than BDSM anyway.
I have to agree with rachel06 about nilla guys asking our opinion on every little thing, but they were raised to be respectful in that way even if it blows up in their faces. This is how I handle it. If my nilla guy asks what I want to do or where I want to eat, I consider answering that question as being obedient rather than being the "top". To me submission is doing whatever it takes to please the man and many men hate making those type of decisions. If I pick something he doesn't like he can either veto me or know better than to ask me the next time.
I am not ready to be a full submissive to a Dominant by any means yet, but I am lonely and missing male companionship. I think at this time nilla dating is just right for me. I can have a fun night out, feel desirable again and I can sneak in all kinds of service that is pleasing to him without being to blatent about it.
I told my nilla friend that although I wanted him to know this part of me, I did not expect him to be my Dominant. I am not even sure if I would like that right now. That was a part of me that is lying dormant, but my union with Master was so complete that if I never have it again I can live happily just on the memories.
And who knows? The last time we were talked, nilla guy suggested that when we are together again that maybe we try out those "leather things with the rings and stuff", lol, my restaints. There is hope....... "Peace" ~blizz~