DowntownAmber has this completely right. The issue is that I can not get him to stop thinking "kinky sex"... he even asks now if we can have "kinky sex".

I'm a genderqueer switch who has lately been only about some very young (for me) very cute androgynous boys who act feminine. I've even EXPLAINED that. Genderqueer. Switch leaning Dom etc. These are not things he's into. He's into me in more submissive roles like i was in highschool, being super cutsie. So yes it's hard to imagine sex at all let alone the almost complete opposite of what i would want.

I am getting frustrated though and I'm thinking more and more that regardless of what i do this constant pressure is going to be there. It's frustrating. I think I'm going to have to have a "personal space bubble" conversation. As for some reason he thought it appropriate for no reason to grab and tweak my nipple. I'm a 27 year old woman. I don't recall the last time someone did that. I'm rather sure I punched them in the face.

I'm trying to be inclusive. I'm trying to be friendly and forgiving and understanding. He's a good guy. I just don't understand how to make him understand that i grew up a bit without making him feel like he did something. Everything seems to be personal to him.

I'm really sorry for the frustration in this. I guess I'm just a little upset with the entire situation at this point.

Side note... my no no bits are perfectly healthy.