Obviously there's all sorts of abuse - I simply focused on this particular type because it seems to never be mentioned. Here's another example of what I mean:

Suppose a submissive lost family members in a fire and has had a fear of fire ever since. When her Dom suggests fireplay, she agrees, never disclosing her experience. Then when the fireplay commences, she freaks out, starts screaming at her Dom and has a complete meltdown.

He never saw it coming and feels responsible. But in truth, she knew she had a problem with fire, and by not telling him so, she set up a possibly bad situation for them both. If she had told him "hey, this happened in my life - I'd like to try fireplay but you need to know that I may have a problem with it" then he could have been prepared for the consequences.

I think that we forget, as submissives, where our own responsibility lies to take care of ourselves and our Doms. They are not super-human. They are doing something, expressing a part of themselves, that modern society can and will condemn them for. Knowingly putting them in a situation that they will feel responsible for creating - when it is not their cross to bear - is abuse.

And yes, the self-abuse argument is true. But irrelevant to this discussion, IMO.