Quote Originally Posted by lily27 View Post
In my version of D/s, the submissive is not in control, and submission is not a "gift". If it were, then the sub would really be the top, and that just doesn't work for me.
As always, your mileage may vary.
The submission as a gift of not has had me a bit confused - I am not sure I quite get what the controversy over submission as a gift consists of, or why it would mean that the sub would really be the top?

As I see it, submission as a gift is a sort of one-off thing. You give it away - there it is, your obedience and devotion, nicely wrapped with red ribbons, to be opened and accepted by the dominant. And then thereafter, it is his/hers.

I cannot see how that would rub the power-relation, rather the opposite, in fact. Or is the thought that submission must be taken by the Dominant, not given by the sub?