Quote Originally Posted by lily27 View Post
My line of thinking is a lot closer to Oz's. I wanted to offer the voice of dissent earlier, but couldn't get my thoughts clear enough, so I just let it go.

In my version of D/s, the submissive is not in control, and submission is not a "gift". If it were, then the sub would really be the top, and that just doesn't work for me.

As always, your mileage may vary.
It is easy to twist thoughts so far from the original post. It is control that is the original gift, not submission. The dominant then takes charge and when love continues to develop, maintains the control. Control can also be maintained using things other than love. Even dominants of integrity know how to manipulate things to the mutual advantage of themselves and their subs. It is the dom/mes who THINK they have total control to whom it is an illusion. Control is held by both parties, but the dominant is the one who maintains the lead and remains in charge, thus satisfying both their needs and the needs os their subs.