There is so much good info here. I've been struggling with these ideas for a while and will be embroidering some of the quotes on pillows soon.

Quote Originally Posted by FirstBorn View Post
Having control and or dominance does not imply making every tiny decision. If it does to a partner, theyr looking for more of a parent than a dom/me, from my perspective.
Some people are looking for Daddy, but that's not me.

Quote Originally Posted by Guera View Post
I hope I get more responses, especailly from subs... That constant craving, how it colors the mind, it mystifies me, though I think.
We aim to please! That constant craving...can be a real PITA, or a great pleasure, right now which it is depends on how much free time I have. I haven't figured out how to make it work in an integrated way yet. I'll add it to the list.

Quote Originally Posted by leo9 View Post
Recognise that submitting to him does not change who you are to the rest of the world.

Recognise that submissive does not equal weak: it takes admirable strength to be a good sub. He does not want you to turn into a helpless pink bimbo. He wants all your strength, he just wants it to be at his command.
Reconciling these ideas is one of the toughest issues I've ever worked on. I don't think leaving either aspect of my personality behind is an option any more. I really like the "packages to open" idea because it acknowledges the struggle without making me feel as if just the existance of a struggle means I'm doing something wrong. The learning curve here is steep, but there are people to help and I'm so grateful for that.