I got myself into a mess, is all. But then, it's not like you can HELP who you fall in love with, IMO. I just happened to fall for a guy who was unavailable. I certainly wasn't going to stay single my whole life because I couldn't have the man I wanted. But now (10 years later) I'm thinking that way back then I should have voiced my feelings better, and made a claim of sorts. What good is it now for both of us to be with people we don't want to be with, but stay with because of our kids, and a sense of responsibility? (we are both the breadwinners, so to break up with our spouses would also mean putting them in really bad financial situations, and basically shirking our duties.)

*sigh*

What if the person who is your soul mate can never be fully yours? How do you settle for what you have and be happy with it?

FWIW, it goes way beyond the D/s issue. Part of why we have explored that is because we relate so well on every other level, that we were comfortable to go there in the first place. It's like peanut butter & chocolate.