I'm on the flip side of things. My last long term relationship (that ended in marriage, and finally divorce) was very vanilla. Then again, I'd consider myself fairly vanilla compared with my current boyfriend. I joked with him that it was like the only ice cream flavor I'd had was vanilla, and he's tried every flavor at Baskin Robbins.

But I think there are different levels. I may be vanilla to my current boyfriend, but to my ex I was a 'freak'. In my situation with the ex, once I knew how he felt, I tried to downplay the importance of my desires until I forgot they existed. This is not something I would recommend as I ended up just resenting him in other areas of our relationship. If you're married and have children, I understand that you feel obligated to stay, even at the risk of your own happiness. I didn't have children with my ex-husband, but I stayed with him long after I stopped being happy and eventually our relationship unraveled anyway. Don't stay with someone out of obligation or guilt.

That said, I assume you've tried talking to him one on one, explaining what it is you like and why and trying to figure out what he likes and why. But, have you considered talking together with a third party? Therapy could be a good idea, but you could also try to see if he'd be interested in reading through the threads on this forum, or reading stories and seeing if anything really sparks an interest. Or...you could see if he would want to be there while you did an online session with another Dom. He could see first hand what it's like, how you react, etc. Or on the flip side, you could try to get him to do an online session with a sub and see if he opens up more in that type of setting. Or have him do an online session with you...be in different rooms, or even different places. For instance, what if you went to bread co or another place with free WiFi while he stayed at home? From personal experience, I find it much easier to open up about fantasies/desires when the person isn't sitting right next to me.