Do you have to balance vanilla & non?

[IAN 2411]

But that doesn't mean she should stay with the person she's married to if she's no longer happy with him (as he's probably not very happy either), purely out of obligation or a fear that the person she leaves him for may down-the-road, leave her.

Your obligation is not what is good or right for you or your husband but what is right for your children, and in a marriage inclusive of children the children’s whole being takes priority.

Just tell me what you think the point in getting married was in the first place, so that somewhere down the line you can dump the woman/man that you are with because the new modal lives down the road.

Or maybe because [nawteeone] says, she didn’t want to be the only ship left on the ocean so any port in a storm will do even though it was not the port she wanted to dock in.

We should stay with people, work on relationships/marriages, if we still truly love the person we're with and want to work through our problems rather than mask them. But I can tell you from experience that staying with someone out of obligation, guilt, or fear, is not going to end up doing anything but causing more pain.

I never said mask over problems i said work on them.

It is a fact that you should never relate to others what happened to you, because the consequences are very rarely the same. Even if the run up to the problems were the same the outcome could be the complete opposite of your own.

Wow, I think I hit a nerve in ian 2411

Yes you did

I ruminate a lot on things. This particular subject was just on the forefront of my mind for a while. Ultimately, I'm married to the wrong guy. But that doesn't mean on a non-sexual level I'm not willing to do everything I can to make it work. I've even suggested counseling. Sexually? He just isn't who I need or want, and never will be.

What your saying is that you won’t go that extra half mile, have you ever thought in your wildest dreams that it is you that might not be turning him on. Maybe he is to frightened of you to tell you what his real needs are, he might just have a kink that you don’t know about. Why is it always the man that is fucked up with sex, it is never the woman, is it because they are the sexual elite? I think not.

Before you go pointing the finger at me, i was married to my Mistress for thirty years and if she was not satisfied a long time before me then i went without for a long time, and i only ever did it once. We had four girls and they came first, and they came before me in my Mistresses eyes, and that is how it should be.

It's a shame that people feel the need to pair up & get married in their early/mid twenties, because when I look back, I didn't even really know who I was back then, much less what I wanted in a partner. That has come with age.

My Mistress was 22 when i Married her and i knew all the pain she could give me in the 4 years i was with her beforehand. I was 11 years her senior so age don’t mean a thing.

As for being married 30 years, well, I'm halfway there.

But do as you’re talking about and you’ll never see a 30 year marriage of your own.

Regards ian 2411