Submission around family? friends even?

[Flaming_Redhead]

How would you act around your family and friends? How do you go out in public and be submissive with people thinking "abuse?"

I act like I'm "normal" around my family and friends. LOL Well, as close to normal as I ever get....*ahem* To tell you the truth, the only thing I have to remember not to do in public is refer to him as "Daddy." I'm sure that would get a few horrified looks at my mom's house, but in public, I don't think many would notice it since he's technically old enough to be my daddy, unless we kissed or something after they heard me....LMAO! Most of my friends know what I'm into, so they don't bat an eye when I let the "D" word slip. We don't really have any protocols to speak of, so it isn't hard to act naturally around other people. If he asks me to do something or not do something in public, he does it quietly.

So how should I react if they ask "How can you let them do that to you?"

I actually had a similar situation come up, and I didn't really know how to respond. My dom and I were having a disagreement. I was out at a bar with my best friend when he text messaged me. It was to let me know that I had an email in response to a letter I'd sent him earlier that day. I began to worry about what the email might say, etc., and began to cry. My friend became angry and told me to turn off the damn phone. She said, "I know you like to play games and call him "Daddy," but he's NOT your daddy! You don't have to listen to him! You came out to have a good time, and he's not going to ruin it!" I just gave her a bewildered stare. I think I told her I knew I didn't have to but that I wanted to. I didn't turn off the phone. I continued texting. What she didn't know is that he wasn't trying to ruin anything. I wanted to go home right then and check my email instead of partying with her, but he assured me that it could wait and that I should stay and have fun. I told her that everything was fine, but I didn't go into any detailed defense of my actions because a noisy bar isn't a place you can really talk. My advice is to not do anything obvious that would draw attention, but if anyone asks, depending on who they are, either tell them to mind their own business or tell them everything is fine. You don't have to go into some long explanation of what is nobody's business but yours.

[JonMaddux]

My wife and I have a d/s type of lifestyle. We try to typically treat it as a private thing but occasional people do figure things out and ask questions.
Friends and people i work with are semi aware, perhaps they know the whole scope of our d/s lifestyle but i tend to think we are "old fashioned" instead. We are in our early 30's, so we arent that old.
I usually give her any directions or instructions prior to our arrival somewhere. Before we enter a restraunt or friends house she knows what is expected of her so i dont make any scenes. I personally tend to keep things between us. She is happy to serve but embarasses easily and i feel its respectful to her to not embarass her. I think d/s should be a two way street to a point, perhaps i am wrong.
Neither of us has ever been properly schooled if you will in d/s we just have always had a relationship where she is submissive to me and later i learned she is very submissive to me and after finding a few websites discovered we fit the d/s category in some respects.
Her dad was visiting and noticed the anchor points on the bed while seeing the new house. He didnt really say anything snide or rude, he just chuckled, looked at her and gave us the whatever works for you and continued his tour. He is aware she is a very submissive wife to me in how she acts and speaks to me. He treats me VERY well and never fails to send me a lavish gift for special occassions so i feel he knows but understands its her choice not something i force on her and i do spoil her and treat her exceptionally well. I never viewed her being submissive to mean she is a doormat, i think he knows that. Her mother is a whole different story.
Her mother doesnt "know" but suspects something is odd. She pretty much loathes me and i suspect it is because she sees her daughter as submissive to me and being a liberal femme-nazi type is disgusted by it. My wife grows her bikini area and underarms natural per my liking. I trim her bikini line to my taste, which means only a little bit and only during the summer months for the pool. Underarm hair is a fetish for me and hers are kept natural. Her mom has noticed this and chastised her for it several times as being un ladylike. My wife remarked i liked it and thats why so again her mom cant believe her daughter is embarassing to be seen with in public simply because her husband prefers it.
Its a slippery slope, it depends on the views the people your thinking of coming out to have. Its pretty comparable in my book to being gay. You want to be yourself and you want people in your family to understand, you want to tell them or let them know your a certain way but fear the ridicule and being shunned by those you love most. Only you will truly know how much to tell them if you should tell them at all, or let them observe it. My dad knows and of course he thinks its the coolest thing hes ever seen or heard... He wants to know where he can find him a beautiful submissive LOL.