Quote Originally Posted by icey View Post
i have a lot of respect for Whippet and always take notice of anything he has to say,so thankyou from me too Whippet
maybe i should take more notice and not be quite so high maintinance myself lol



i dont think the effort is trivial in any sense, it takes a lot of patience, time and understanding, its what makes a good Dom (that should read person really) one who actually knows themself. they stand out from all the rest and thats exactly what the 'high maintenence sub' is asking for.
icey - I don't have personal experience with you - but we've known each other on-line for a few years - and I really would never consider you a "high maintenance" sub in a bad way - you have needs - as all people do. And I think Hawk would agree whole-heartedly.

I used the word trivial in a very particular sense, icey. Some effort takes real grab yourself by the bootstraps and haul yourself to do the job work - things like going to a job you don't like, or a social gathering you'd really prefer not to go to - but family obligations intrude. That's work - real grunt work.

Other things may require as much or more effort - or patience or time or understanding - but with those things, you go at it with a light heart because expending effort on those things is a joy and a fulfillment.

And that's why I see the effort as trivial - because it is something that I truly enjoy. There is no effort in making myself pay attention to my girl - none at all. She's my slave - and she's the centre of my universe as well. And my need and desire that she be truly happy make any effort for her sake a pleasure, not a chore, regardless of whether it's the firm whipping she needs so much, or being held and cuddled and allowed to cry her heart out over some past hurt, or showing her in word and action that no matter how ugly and unwomanly she might feel herself to be - she is a truly beautiful and dearly loved woman in every sense.

There was a comment above - I can't remember who made it - and I'm not going to look - it was likening maintenance of a submissive to the routine of maintaining the running order of a car.

That aspect is true (as analogies go) - but I thought about that analogy overnight - and I think it goes further. A good friend of mine had a rare and classic car (a 1929 Dusenberg if you must know) in pristine condition. He spent hours tinkering with that car - keeping it in immaculate shape, keeping it tuned and in perfect running order. He'd think nothing of putting his business on hold for a time to do that either. That car was his passion and it consumed him - in a good way.

In many respects, providing maintenance to my submissive - to my slave - feels very much like how my friend felt about that car...she is my consuming passion.