Thank you, everyone, for your thoughtful and useful responses. I'll start with the last and move up.

Sir_Russell, I already do those things - I take care of him on a daily basis and try to "think sexy thoughts" while doing it. Actually, I just think about how much I love him. And I do get some satisfaction from it.

Rhabbi, that's how I feel about it too! Joyful. When the loop is really strong, I could almost laugh out loud (and have) with sheer joy.

Oz, that's my fear. That he can't dominate me, not because he doesn't want to, but because he can't see me that way. I will reread the thread, although at this point it's probably burned into my monitor screeen anyway, I've read it so often.

cadence, I always, always value what you say. And I have been thinking all the things that you wrote. Today I especially value you for making me laugh. "Smack the Domliness into his brain." I burst out laughing because I've had that very mental image the last few weeks. Thank you!

Euryleia, writing fantasies is a great idea. I've been doing it a little, but haven't yet had the nerve to share them with him. It's time to take that next step.

MrDom, (and everyone else, cause you all said it) yes, it is time for more talking.

Feeling a little better and with a smidgen of hope,
jeanne