A plea for guidance

[jeanne]

Oh, tessa, thank you so much for your thoughful reply. I do throw suggestions out there. Here's an example from last week:

2 days before I leave for the beach. We're going to be separated for almost 5 days. So I say that this would be a chance to try some control. Him controlling me (a personal hot button of mine). I could only masturbate and cum when he gave me permission. And I ask him what he thinks. His response: I'll think about it. And that was the end of that. No more discussion, no control, I'm masturbating all over the damn place (well, not really, but sorta, if you know what I mean! ) and I'm unhappy. How much clearer do I need to be???

Another example, same trip away, we're talking on the phone. I tell him how much I miss his cock in my mouth, how empty my mouth feels, etc. And how I can't wait to see him and have him there. His response: maybe you can do that on the way home. Maybe???? Could I get just a little bit of damn enthusiasm out of him? This is the man who couldn't keep his hands off me for 22 years!

Aarrghh! Do I sound frustrated? I hope so, because that's how I feel. Am I even really submitting at this point? What am I submitting to? A dream, a hope, a fantasy, a wish?

Oh, I'm just sick of listening to myself whine, so I'll stop now.

Clapping my hand over my own mouth to stop that irritating Waah sound,
jeanne

[nightsilver]

2 days before I leave for the beach. We're going to be separated for almost 5 days. So I say that this would be a chance to try some control. Him controlling me (a personal hot button of mine). I could only masturbate and cum when he gave me permission. And I ask him what he thinks. His response: I'll think about it. And that was the end of that. No more discussion, no control, I'm masturbating all over the damn place (well, not really, but sorta, if you know what I mean! ) and I'm unhappy. How much clearer do I need to be???

Another example, same trip away, we're talking on the phone. I tell him how much I miss his cock in my mouth, how empty my mouth feels, etc. And how I can't wait to see him and have him there. His response: maybe you can do that on the way home. Maybe???? Could I get just a little bit of damn enthusiasm out of him? This is the man who couldn't keep his hands off me for 22 years!

Perhaps he thinks these are things you want, and being dominant it is not his role to give you what he wants so he is denying you these things? Only reasoning I can think of that is not named already.