vanilla relationship, but i NEED more!

[toy_k]

I can't add more to what has already been said, Toy_K. Except maybe, to please take it slow.

When your other half seems to cultivate a bulge in his pants when reading some BDSM stories, that is indeed positive.

Best thing is to first establish what exactly it is that exites your other half in the things he read while tenting his trousers, and maybe go from there.

A lot of people tend to cultivate fantasies, but are so afraid of xperimenting with those fantasies in the real world, in their relationship. Partly because maybe they are ashemed, or maybe because they are afraid that their partner will regard them as freaks.

So, when speaking openly about your desires, Toy_K, always lay the emphasis on your mutual love.

Visit some online stuff that handles about the psychological aspects of BDSM, or Sado-Masochism, to show your husband that having such feelings is pretty common. That's to take away the 'freak' aspect.

And, Like I said, take it slow. Be patient, and ask the same of your boyfriend. Rushing things can drive people apart.

I truly hope things will end up going smoothly, for the both of you.

What I wrote ain't much, but maybe it helped a bit


JJ

Thank you for your response, but i must claify a few things:
1. since sharing such delicate fantasies of mine i KNOW he would have no problems or apprehension for sharing his. I have expressed to him many times that i would do ANYTHING that he would like

2. we are not married

and finally a question:
I have been taking it slow....its been just short of a year since my little confession...so how slow is slow?

[JimmyJump]

Thank you for your response, but i must claify a few things:
1. since sharing such delicate fantasies of mine i KNOW he would have no problems or apprehension for sharing his. I have expressed to him many times that i would do ANYTHING that he would like

Cool. But I've read there's a breakthrough.

2. we are not married

Sorry bout that.

and finally a question:
I have been taking it slow....its been just short of a year since my little confession...so how slow is slow?

Well, you could, in a subtle way indicate your impatience to get to the heart of what you'd like. But at the same time keep it slow while you go. Don't go from a mild spanking to directly drawing plans for a full fledged torture dungeon.

But since your boyfriend has gone to explore all by himself, maybe things will get to 'the next level' soon.


JJ

[toy_k]

Update:
Well it seems my boyfreind is interested in BDSM/ D/s play. But there still seems to be a "snag" in making it work for us. I have some theories. Firstly, I am having a very hard time respecting him as a Dom. This may be because we are trying to go from a vanilla relationship (where i do tend to have the most control) to a D/s relationship. It may also be because of his inexperience/ knowledge about D/s play, and his lack of modivation to seek such knowledge via web, community, books, etc. This also tends to undermine he statements to me that he is "into it." Since this post i personally have discovered more of my...lets say niche or kink. It has been very hard for me to be honest with him about it for fear of rejection. But every time i have been honest he has been very receptive and even excited...but still it is always ME bringing the new ideas to the table. I really want to find out what HE likes. I mean, as a submissive, that is my prioity. I have shown him this site and told him of others like it, but he doesn't "have the time." He does. Believe me he does. HELP.....advise, please. I NEED this, he knows it, but what is stronger, love or needs?