What am I? Sub? Dom? Wannabe?

[Virulent]

I don't think your physical size has anything to do with it

I don't know about that - to some degree biology is destiny.

It occurs to me though Rowen; maybe you're just horny and somewhat kinky? For the last decade or so, I've been at the point where I just can't orgasm without some dominance or sadism involved. I'm not saying that you have to be as fucked up as I am to be a dom, but in my case I am somewhat lucky I guess, in that I have no anxiety or ambiguity about my sexual polarity. Without being able to compel submission and/or pain from the thing I'm fucking, I'm out of luck. That can really be maddening sometimes, by the way.

[Rowen]

I don't know about that - to some degree biology is destiny.

It occurs to me though Rowen; maybe you're just horny and somewhat kinky?

I thought that was the simple case for a long time...

Rowen,
In terms of lifestyle Dominance... your fantasies seem to suggest that perhaps you SHOULD explore both areas of yourself. Why not? What's the harm? I assume you have been very open with your current Mistress about what you feel--if you haven't been, you should--open communication is CRITICAL. But self-exploration is such a large part of the lifestyle. There is nothing "wrong" with deciding that, after further exploration & learning, you might fit better into one role then another.

Am thinking about that, now I am on the verge of going real life...Exactly why I am asking, because..what to look for??
I have talked about this at length with Miss Tanya. While it started with o/l dominating her slave (Slut Linda) she quickly put her finger on my submissive side...during our contacts it became obvious I was at least submissive to her: she estimates me "70% sub, 30% Dom"...and often when playing with Linda I hear her saying "your submissive side is showing!! Take care.."
She encourages me to explore, and we have an unique opportunity for that: me being submissive to her, but dom to her slave (which I love, hehehe..)

Hmm, I think I'll tell (possible) partners exactly that: am looking, exploring and let's face it, it gives many possibilities for both sides.... One of my playpartners over here discovered she was much more domme than sub... (I'll have to face the music for that when Miss Tanya is back online, but that's an other story)

Exactly my thought when I finished reading the post. Sometimes it is best to not over analyze and just go with the flow doing what feels right at the moment.

You are so right...that being a sort of submission by itself!

Once again, thanks..really helps!

[gemmy]

I don't think your physical size has anything to do with it

I don't know about that - to some degree biology is destiny.

Do you know how many small women I've met that are Domme and even Professional Dominatrix; as well as many larger men that want to be submissive?

I don't think that just because you are large or small that means you should or shouldn't be submissive or Dominant at all.

I do think it is something they would struggle against since society has already dictated what they're roles should or shouldn't be, but maybe therein lies a little fetish of it's own?