What am I? Sub? Dom? Wannabe?

[Rowen]

I don't think your physical size has anything to do with it but yes, I can understand your perception and I do have to say....."a great big Dominant, mmmmmm, that's just yummmmo!"......hehehe

Why thank you....will keep that in mind, lol

Sounds like you have the Dominant part sussed but are having confusion only about the submissive side of you.

Am not so sure...in my dreams and in roleplay I can hide my uncertainty, real life would be different. With my gf it were only playfull bondage games. And I think I would quite easily be "topped from the bottom".. taking pity on my "victim" As mistress told me "you are a nice gentleman, but Slut doesn't need a gentle man..."

Then again...breaking through that point during a session with Slut Linda was awesome...for the both of us.

It's likely that all you need is a truly strong Dominant/Mistress that brings out your sub naturally, which makes you resist your desire to be defiant to her. There are Dominants in our lives that bring that out of us instantly and naturally and it feels wonderfully splendid.

You sure do have a point there. Even online, from the very first time I mailed whit her I felt her dominance... As written, struggled, but really...didn't stand a chance. That was scaring...she had had me shivering behind the sceen on occasions and trust me, there is no defiance then!
Writing this....must confess...perhaps that such an encounter in real life would be good. Mistress has told me on occasion that many dominants start as submissives (she did herself), also learning what it means to be dominated.

There is an other point I realised today. Perhaps I lack the courage to really submit? I mean, have read some punishment, some tasks at the academy, you know. And yes...big turn on...but doing such a thing, taking the risk of really getting humiliated..simply scares the shit out of me. I must admit I secretely admire the courage of many submissives here. But somehow it feels that when mistress (or a domme, taskmaster) would tell me do it, I would..no matter how scared I would be....strange...

No need to question what you "should" or shouldn't be, just enjoy

That could be mistress speaking...and you know what? You're both right, but I have to learn that. And meanwhile...boy am I searching and wandering...

BTW: you all, Blythe, gem, virulant, thanks for helping me in that search..

[claire]

There is an other point I realised today. Perhaps I lack the courage to really submit? I mean, have read some punishment, some tasks at the academy, you know. And yes...big turn on...but doing such a thing, taking the risk of really getting humiliated..simply scares the shit out of me. I must admit I secretely admire the courage of many submissives here. But somehow it feels that when mistress (or a domme, taskmaster) would tell me do it, I would..no matter how scared I would be....strange...

Submitting can be scary and your Dom/me should take that into consideration. That is why for me it was important to get to know my Dom and build trust, before I could submit. While humiliation and punishment scare me, they also excite me. That is the key for me. Is submitting sexually arousing or does it fill some other need in you? If not, why do it? As for being a good sub, not, me. I'm lazy, rebellious, argumentative, selfish.... It is your Dom/me's job to control and guide you as you learn to control yourself. Ultimately though I enjoy pleasing him and that is what motivates me to change.

It also sounds to me like you are a switch. Perhaps talking to other switches would help.