Rowen,

First, as a few others have suggested, there is a difference between r/l Dominance and lifestyle Dominance.

Perhaps you enjoy the r/l Dominance, just as many, many submissives do. I for one am very Dominant in my daily life--it is just who I am and who I always have been. Does it conflict with my lifestyle submission? No, not at all. In fact, in some ways it strengthens it. In r/l munches, you will often find very high powered women (i.e. in high-powered corporate jobs) who are lifestyle submissives--it is because of the blissful, erotic release that they find by giving away that power via a Dominant in lifestyle. So yes, you can have both.

In terms of lifestyle Dominance... your fantasies seem to suggest that perhaps you SHOULD explore both areas of yourself. Why not? What's the harm? I assume you have been very open with your current Mistress about what you feel--if you haven't been, you should--open communication is CRITICAL. But self-exploration is such a large part of the lifestyle. There is nothing "wrong" with deciding that, after further exploration & learning, you might fit better into one role then another. There's also nothing that says you can't define yourself as a submissive and occationally Dominate or top another. The "lines" between roles are blurred--there is no cut & dry pigeon hole you have to shove yourself into. Don't block something off just because it doesn't "fit"... Also, you may try things & then decide that they are better left fantasy then reality...

Explore, learn & enjoy. The most important thing is that you have fun and you communicate openly & honestly with your partners.


Good luck!